Wednesday, June 8, 2011

unsolicited wedding advice wednesdays : to register or not to register

(This post series is brought to you by the inspiration from Nina's recent blog post here.  Although this posting series may eventually end because I will run out of things to say regarding the subject...)

Disclaimer: I don't see myself as a wedding expert or claim to have the best thoughts about weddings but having recently gone through the wedding gauntlet it makes me want to share my lessons learned with others so that they may learn from my experience and benefit from it....or just laugh at my folly.  

From one wedding survivor to one who may be getting married in the future let me give you some unsolicited advice.  If you're moving to another locale like I did, don't register for gifts.  Trust that your wonderful guests will understand your situation and give cash gifts.  My friends April and Paul, photographed beautifully here and here and HERE by Love & Lemonade, who are also moving out of state were smarty pants and did just that.  In fact on their invites they wrote, "The traveling couple has decided not register for gifts" or it was something like that, you get the picture.  Unfortunately their wisdom was not shared with me who was married two weeks before them and unfortunately I DID register for TWO different places!  Amazon and Bed Bath and Beyond.  Fail.

Now, don't get me wrong...the gifts are lovely and in fact I should remind you that I registered for those gifts BUT when you're moving and unpacking your own mountain of boxes and suitcases the last thing you want to do is unpack 15 boxes from  It's an obvious idea but for some reason it escaped me while thinking about the registry.  And if you're like me and you think, "Well if I change my mind and I need to return some gifts I'll just do it all in one trip and it won't be a problem."  WRONG.  The major error in this assumption is that all the gifts will be arriving at the same time and this is not the case.  We've been married for almost two weeks and we're still getting gifts in the mail.  We feel so bad for the UPS guy we want to leave him a bottle of wine.  AND we've been to BBB so many times to return and exchange that the staff greet us at the door by name (no, not really)!

So my unsolicited advice for the traveling couple is DON'T register for gifts.  One caveat: if you know eventually you will need to buy new things it would be a good idea for you and your fiance to build a registry that will be between the two of you (and not made known to guests) so that you'll have an easy go-to list of things to buy when you are at your new locale.  This way you won't be scrambling to figure out what to you two need to buy.

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